Listening to: dance dance by fallout boy

sometimes i wonder why cant life be the way u want it to be..?
even u work hard for it.. u still seem so far away from it. i want this n i want that but im just sayin but not doin it. i hate myself for not doing it.i got to learn doing it.

i am alwaes leaving them lingering on a string when they tell me that they like me... why do i alwaes do that? i hate it. i really do. he confess that he likes me and i tell him that im not ready bcus i dun think gettin into a r/s again would bring me happiness its more towards pain. am i being selfish? he saes i have not gotten over a heartache. His actually wrong i have gotten over the heartache but i just dun think that im ready for any r/s yet. im not ready. i jus want to be alone ..enjoyin the singlehood. i do not want to be force into somethin that i might regret or say "shoots i shouldnt have" n den "what have i got myself into" in the later part.

it was nisa's b'dae yest, i did enjoy it a lot. but here's one tot that i want to blog about:
i sat at the bench in heeren level 3 wif dan, rin, nisa yest. yes we were tired at least i was. many couples passed and part of me sayin hrm..its nice to have someone but the other part is sayin hrm .. nah single still rawks. probably my heart has become an empty room.

clubbin.. when will we ever go kin dear? ur either busy wif skool or occupied whenever we get invites from frens.. i hope soon.. i'll still wait.

=] Chrismukkah has finally arrived. =]

this song is really sweet. yes i am still awake and its rare that im bloggin at this tyme.im using illegal wireless network n i'm kinda connected now.heh. im facing a crisis here within myself. i dunno wat i feel n shud do.do u feel like i feel? ur far awar from him but wen u do meet him u feel nice and all u wanna do is listen to wat he has to sae. u wanna show more concern n care but ur held back cus u think of all the circumstances that u will face wen u actualli realli show n den u might regret and u wish it never happen. But if u didnt den the chance is gone. And den u'll be wishin why didnt i believe my guts? n hate urself for it. so wat do u do?? n u wish so hard that he show some love but yeah it couldnt realli happen because probably he doesnt feel the same way as you do or probably he's shy? so when will he or she eventually confess what they truly feel? will it ever happen?wats worst is that u keep on thinkin how nice it would be to have him at ur side n all... someone who truly cares for u but u fear that he might leave u jus like that in the future daes... n den u think about all the quarrels n fights that might happen n all the make-up session... den u ask urself.. will it be another heartache? u wish it wont.

to me relationships= major headache now

give me a pill or 2 to cure it.

but dun get me wrong... im tryin to look at the brightside of it.

Listenig to: Quizzacal by Juliet the Orange

Hrm..it's been a looong tyme ya since i last update. boy.. i got to tell u so much have happened mann.But first see the above neo-pics...it is so nice la. I so luv it.kinkin cat n me sure did had fun decoratin it.i tink we look great duncha agree?? n zagg couldnt make it that dae..wish u were dere...but den not to worri dere are other daes .=]

i went on holidae to heaven Bangkok n yeah it was so much fun funn. This is the first tyme the whole family took an airplane together along with my uncle family and my lovely grams. We visited many places such as Coral Island(we took speed boat dere), Dreamworld, Shoppin malls, Floating market and lots more. =] As for the coral Island... haiz i went parachuting!!!!! the one tied to the boat.. it sure was very interesting. The scenery was beautiful from up dere and i felt as if i was a bird. the feeing was wonderful and yeah i got the pics..heh And den the coral island is brillantly beautified. u shud go. We get to see the corals but not much of it.. And oh ya... me n my cuzz took pic wif a tiger cub!!! how cute is that?? i noe...hhaks i got the pics and i sooo love it la. The tiger cub fur was soft n furry n ya adorable.=] n the elephant are so cute la.. dey noe how to paint, dance, basketball, soccer.

the food..hrm at first it was interestin but den as the daes passed.... it was gettin boring.. tom yum, tom yum n more of it.. n i kinda influence my cuzz. She didnt like cam-whoring at first but yeah i kinda took pics in the bus wif her till she was so into it herself that she holds the digi-cam all the tyme.( ma uncle digi-cam) hahaks so bad sia i. It's a good habit isn't it?? anyway.. i took all the ride in dreamworld the ones like viking, coaster something... n grand canyon den magic carpet. it wasnt scary la for the other rides except viking.. gosh!! i was tremblin hard especially my feet. it was pretty high.. heh i kinda hug my cuzz cus the feelin was horrible wen it goes down. Jerial my another cuzz was like saying" sowie sowie .. i dun want already stop stop." i wanted to laugh but i guess i was to concentrated on how to not feel so horrible at that tyme.. his one funny cuzz. n ya... ma bro go n play the carnival game where u have to shoot stuff and get at least 135 points to get a soft toy and hahaks he had 143 points!! n i got the soft toy..heh =] it's grey in color plus it looks like scooby doo.

ok here comes to the fav part of the trip...drum roll pleeeasse!! It was tyme for SHOPPING!!! hahahks.. i tell u i was the onli family member who bought lots of stuff... i mean a lot. crazy rite..untill my bro goes like " Not bad eh ju shoppin non-stop"den he gave me the "eyes" hahaks but it's my money wat... i dunno why they stress...but i still didnt care..hahaks im glad that everyone enjoy demselves over there although there were some glitches but ya..it turn out fine.
And then uncle george so funny laa...talk to us crap stuff but it was sure a good laugh.tanks ya..=] dere tis one nite we had pepper crab( uncle quek spend) it was sure delicious. n yeah the night market is hrm.. heaven? but i didnt buy much.. there are many pubs and all...
oh ya we went to watch the cabaret show where u see transexuals who are realli pretty doin some dancing n singin.. mind you the dancing is not like pole dancin ya... its like u noe a performance dance more to cultural ones la. took lots of pic n cant wait to see it...hahaks
bangkok rawks..

Listening to: Eve, the Apple Of My Eyes by Bell X1

Gee... where do i start? ok..last sat we celebrated Van's b'dae and it was so fun!!i sssooooooooooo
so so enjoy it..gawd. im glad u enjoy it gurl~ =]
i am goin for ma bro's POP(passing out parade) tmr n i think it will be interestin to see him march.so gonna laugh at him.hehs.

i met someone new.. n i think he's nice, his laughter is jus so cute n i dunno..i feel butterflies in my stomach wen i see him..=] will it be real? or will it just be another feelin that will be crush down anytime sooner? i wish it would be real. but i cant decide rite? who am i to sae that it shud n must be real...but im jus prayin.
anywae me n zag enjoy ourselves like crazy todae!!!! zag bought shoes n its so sophisticated seh.way to go gerl.. n she is attached!!! hahaks.. it shocked me but im glad for her..=] zag i am still in a state of shocked .. haks u noe wat i mean (acs??) we went roamin around like from far east>taka>wisma>heeren>cineleisure>tangs n lastly HOME. haks quite a lot of places duncha tink? we chatted alot n i gotta tell u i really had a blast. smiles. n guess wat ? i bought a pretty nice coat which is so kewl~ to me la... zagg too think its realli nice.ok i soo cant wait to wear it.. tanks mum for lettin me buy it.n yeah i fall in love wif another top.. gawd its very pweety top but dun worry i didnt buy it.
and me n zag were stop by this model thingy.. hahaks toopid seh.. not interested also.. n yeah...!!we took pics n i think its realli kewl~ we were like so posing n all but it was worth it. update it soon. haven infra it yet. i miss kin dear. N i am sowie that i could not make it on the 10 dec. I wish i could but i just cant. But not to worry i wont miss next yr one!!!but im lookin forward to new year's one too!! heh..

Psst: am i the apple of ur eyes?